#WiseUpWednesday: If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get

As humans, we’re afraid to ask for things;

  • We’re afraid to ask someone out on a date.
  • We’re afraid to ask for more money at our jobs.
  • We’re afraid to ask the tough questions in our relationships.

And as Specialist Contractors we’re particularly afraid to ask for a better deal in our relationship with the Contractors who we work with (please note I said “with” and not “for”).

We’re Afraid To Ask Because We Fear Rejection

Rejection is this unbelievably strong thing that keeps us from getting so much in life. If you experience rejection one time, it is likely to derail you from ever asking for that thing again.

Why is it so hard to overcome the feeling that the tiny two-letter word “no” gives us?

Negativity = Rejection  And It’s Incredibly Powerful

100 people could tell you what a great job you’re doing, but if one person says you are crap, those 100 positive messages won’t matter a jot.

See, on some level, we all just want to fit in. The reason we fixate on things like rejection and negativity is because they make us feel alienated from the rest of the world.

Experiencing rejection on any scale cuts us to our most basic human core.

And that is what Contractors are deliberately, or subconsciously doing to you. They are conditioning you not to ask.

  • Don’t ask for a fair price
  • Don’t ask to amend the unfair terms in our contract
  • Don’t ask for instructions for variations
  • Don’t ask for extension of time or extra costs

Break The Mould – Start Asking

The simple magic to getting anything you want in life is just to ask.

The only caveat to simply asking for what you want is this: make sure you do it with confidence, knowledge, and authority, and put some effort into it.

The four-time Olympic Gold Medallist Jesse Owens put it perfectly:

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.”


Effort is truly a secret to success. No one has ever put in an insane amount of effort for something and not gotten some value out of it.

The more you ask for things, in the right ways, the better you’ll get at it. And the better you get at asking, the amount of times you hear “yes” will increase.

  • You’re going to hear “no”
  • You’re going to feel rejected.
  • You’re going to encounter negativity.

But if you truly want whatever you’re asking for, you won’t and shouldn’t give up at the first sign of adversity.

Start repeating these words to yourself: “You don’t get what you don’t ask for.”

And Remember To Ask for Help When You Need It

You are the back bone of the industry and you are entitled to achieve great things for you and your family. But even the biggest and the best Specialist Contractors don’t have all the answers or all the skills.

So, don’t ever be afraid to ask for help.


And if you have enjoyed my Wise Up Wednesday, please share it with your colleagues.


I sincerely hope to speak with you soon, but in the meantime if you need any help with anything to do with your business, please don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and ask. Simply give us a call on 01773 712116 and ask.

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